Tonight is the final "night before class in the morning" that I'll experience in Hong Kong. I know that might be a little crazy of a "last" to begin talking about, but as I spend way too much time trying to finish putting together a final slideshow for my students reminiscing our time together, I'm realizing how much I (and they) have grown through this entire thing.
A week ago, I was wishing and hoping and begging God to make time move faster. Now I just want to be able to spend more hours, days, and weeks with my beautiful students, who I am also proud to call my dear friends! At the same time, I asked my team leader if I could just take them all home with me in my suitcase. She said that she won't be traveling back to the U.S. with me and won't be in charge of me anymore, so I can do what I want. Who knows.. maybe you will all meet a few of my new Chinese friends on Sunday morning. Dad and Mom-- the spare bedroom is open, right? ;)
But in all seriousness, I can't believe I didn't more openly pour my love into these kids earlier. I've seen so many of them begin to flourish already, and all I want is to be walking alongside them as they do. I've had one convinced we're going to date (he's 15--yikes!) because he is a Christian and I am a Christian and all Christians should just quickly date and marry. Yes, that was a fun request to answer :) But he's also one of my favorite students, so I was still able to encourage him to wait for a great Christian girl his own age who isn't leaving for America in a week and a half ;)
...........
So anyways, here I am, shedding tears as I make this video and picture collage and look through all the memories we've had together. Today was THE BEST DAY I've had since leaving Iowa. It was full of more laughter and "Miss Kristin, you're crazy"'s than I've heard during the entire three weeks of teaching. I just told my roommate that it can't be real that this is ending. I feel like I'm just getting to know my students, and all I want to do is love them and love them and love them. Tomorrow, I'll be walking out of their lives for what might be forever physically. I pray, I'm praying continuously that I may be able to see them all again one day in Heaven, but I know this reality is completely out of hands, so trusting is what I'll have to do.
God has had me crying tears of sorrow because I wanted to go home so badly. He's had me sobbing for friends back home and crying myself to sleep because of the brokenness and dangers in this city. And now, He has me in tears for news reasons. I want to be with these kids every day for the rest of my life. They bring me joy. They bring me so much innocent, hilarious happiness. I want them forever and ever, but even more than that, I want them to have the Hope and Trust that lasts forever that I've been freely given and freely received. I want to wake up exhausted every single day; walk in ten minutes of intense humidity, cram into a subway train full of smelly, angry, busy people; and arrive at school dripping with sweat only so that I can spend all day laughing with, learning from, and loving these beautiful young people. I don't know what this means for my life right now because I can't stay here right now. Many of these kids didn't even know each other before camp and may not even see each other in Hong Kong ever again, but I don't even have any plans to return to Hong Kong in the near future.
For those of you who know I've been wavering in whether or not teaching was for me, it's been confirmed. I'm not sure how I'll ever say goodbye to students after years of teaching them, but these are the feelings I love. The classroom is a place I feel so comfortable in. Young students like all of mine in Hong Kong are the beautiful lives I want to serve and love for the rest of my life. I have never felt so confident in my calling to teach than I do now, and I rejoice in that reality and truth God's brought before me.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all SO VERY MUCH for all of your prayers, words of encouragement, and great comments on all of my Facebook updates. Although I still have no idea whether or not God may lead me into serving Him through overseas teaching in the future, this amazing opportunity has confirmed the gift of teaching and passion for children that I desire to continue to develop and deepen.
I'll be home in one week and four days. I cannot wait. I also wish tomorrow would last for years. God is good. His timing and plans in my life (and yours) are perfect! PRAISE THE LORD!
No comments:
Post a Comment