Shouts of JOY!

“Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!” Psalm 126:5 


I’m not sure of a Psalm that has better described my life at thepresent moment.  

Why?  Well, if you’ve beenkeeping up with my posts, you’ll know that Hong Kong has been nothing shy ofthe world’s largest rollercoaster of emotions.

From things as trivial as bug bite-covered legs and humidity far worsethan Iowa to things as emotionally taxing as frustrating students, evident spiritualdevastation in the city, and team frustrations, sometimes I’ve felt as if God’sbrought me to Hong Kong simply to teach me every single lesson He has plannedfor my life in these short six weeks.  Add to that theever-present homesickness I’ve been struggling with since the day I left, andmy emotions have been in the lowest of the lows lately.

Before you stop reading this because my past couple blogs have been allabout Hong Kong’s hardships making my life so miserable, know that this posthas a much happier ending.  Why?  Because God is faithful and today is now inthe running for having been the best dayin Hong Kong yet!

Week two of teaching started out Monday morning with Rachel’s alarmwaking us up at 6:30.  I laid in bedawhile, simply wanting to sleep all day. I wanted to do anything butteach.  After a full and exhausting weekwith such frustrating students, they were not who I wanted to spend another daywith, let alone another TWO WEEKS.  But,this is kind of like my job…and I know deep down I never would have skipped, soI left for school.  Plus, you all are a great encouragement, both through your prayers, but also accountability.  I would never have been able to write you all saying I skipped a day of teaching because I was frustrated.  So I left for school, still not wanting to go, but willing to at least show up and present the lesson I'd prepared.

And then English camp was awful. My students were silent when I wanted them to talk; they were talkative(in Cantonese, of course) when I wanted them to be quiet.  I had a headache by the end of the firsthour, had several students angry at me for making them do extra journaling, andspent most of my day trying to quiet the class down.  I struggled for control of my students.  I struggled to get any sort of answer out ofstudents.  They refused to talk withpartners.  They refused to do anything except speak in Cantonese whileI repeated directions three or four times. I even perfected my “I can wait” face. 

To top it all off, the rest of my team seemed to have the BEST DAY onMonday.  “My students were SO greattoday!” “Oh, I just love my students!” “My students want to take me out forlunch tomorrow.”  I heard it all, and itall stung.  Why couldn’t I have thosestudents?  Why weren’t my students thatawesome?  Why didn’t my students loveme?  I left school in tears and spent thenight eating puppy chow, watching a movie, and preparing lesson plans with myroommate.  I fell asleep praying that Godwould simply make the next day a little less miserable.  I prayed that He would allow my students to simply be alittle bit nicer to me.

Just like the Psalm says, I sowed in tears.  

But the Psalmist was also right when he wrote that I would reap withshouts of joy.

Tuesday morning.  (About 16 hoursago, actually.)  I woke up, took ashower, started getting ready, and realized that heavy, burdened heart wasn’tthere anymore.  I wouldn’t say I was excited forclass, but I wouldn’t say I was dreading it either. It was more like that same nervous anticipation I had for the first dayof camp.  What would my students be likethat day?  

Just before I was ready toleave for team devotions before heading to the school, a friend from homecalled me on Skype.  I ignored the callbecause I was in a hurry, but then decided to quickly call him back.  We only talked for a few minutes, but I canremember that one of the last things he told me after I expressed my frustrations and worries was to trust.  “Trust in the Lord,” he said. 

45 minutes later, as our team entered the school building, a teammate cameup to me and shared the same words with me. “Kristin,” he said, “I know your students are difficult to teach, but trust in theLord.”  The words echoed in my head as Ispent the day joyfully teaching.  For thefirst time, I was able to really, truly laugh while teaching.  I smiled at the quirky sayings and hilariousgrammar mistakes.  I got excited by theirvictories and their successes.  

And then something else began to happen.  THEY beganlaughing.  THEY began smiling.  THEY began clapping for each other andcheering one another on.  Today, for thefirst time, I was able to simply throw my head back and laugh along with my students because of somethingfunny I’d said or did.  We were able tolearn together and simply enjoy each others’ company.  We celebrated each others' victories and worked through struggles together.

I’m not saying my students and I are going to all be great every secondof every day.  I know we’re still goingto have rough days.  They probably won’tenjoy all of the activities I plan.  Iprobably won’t enjoy all of the purposefully incorrect or funny answers theygive.  However, today I began to love mystudents…not because I have to, but because I want to.  I began to love mystudents because they have awesome dimples I’ve never noticed, helpfulattitudes that finally came through, and even because I realized that I have a couple realgentlemen in my class.

Today I was reminded yet again that my students are not the enemy.  There is only ONE true enemy we arefighting.  My students are on OUR side,or at least they can be.  The war is won andforever will be, but it is still happening. My students need the Truth.  Theyneed to hear the Truth so that they can join our side in the great battle.  I have the Truth.  The Truth is in ME.  As their teacher and friend, my greatestprayer is that I can have the opportunity to share this beautiful Truth withthem.  And until I have that opportunity, I will keep fighting for it.  I will keep fighting because God loves me.  And because of His great and matchless love, I will love my students.  Because I love my students, I will fight for them.  I will fight for them.  I will fight for them.  

Today, I walked out of Ming Yin College with those “shouts of joy” thePsalmist so beautifully declared to come from sowing in tears.  There were only tears of joy shed today.  (Yes, my eyes did get watery several times during the wonderful times with my students this morning.)  So tomorrow, you better believe I’ll bewaking up refreshed, renewed, and shouting for joy to continue learning from,sharing with, and loving on my awesome students.

p.s. I was basically able to share the Good News with about 60 of theEnglish camp’s students today (unfortunately, not my own).  Praise the Lord for that! These kids arecurious.  They’re so hungry for truth ofsome sort.  More details about thatawesome opportunity will come in a later post. Pray that all of the Hong Kong students may be nourished with thebeautiful Truth you and I are filled with everyday.

Love and miss you all.  Keep on trusting, trusting, trusting.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." James 1:2-3

Kristin